Before a big tide, everything is always calm...
***************************************
I totally haf no confidence this time. I really wondered how I had managed to pass through the semester..everything seemed like a rush. Rush to discuss projects, rush to make up the mind, rush for meetings, rush to do projects, rush to edit, rush to hand up, rush to tests, rush exams..ARGHH!! I had enough!!! Its really tiring..I feel realli realli tired.My results for tests were terrible..I feel like I'm being thrown in a deep and dark hole..with me alone..I couldn't breathe..oxygen is lacking.. ..
*******************************
Its my offday for me today. I predicted my results will be here today. I had been realli paranoid the past few days. I had terrible nightmares of bad exam results the past few daes. I dreamt I did sup papers. I dreamt I went back to school for so many sup papers. The past few mornings, I woke up in fear. For a moment, I thot the results sms has arrived, I would quickly get up of bed and check my handphone. After which, I would return back to sleep.The feeling of waiting is realli unbearable. I realli had no confidence that I would pass. I started doing some revision these few days. I was reading my adfs this morning. In fact, I knew I would fail, its just a matter of judgement from the results sms.
***************************
Gosh! I smsed Yi jia to check if she would be going for karate later. As my handphone received the incoming message, I thought it was Yi jia and quickly opened. Crap. I'm not ready yet. Its not Yijia. Its my results! Disgusting. I didnt dare to scroll down. I was really scared. My heart was realli thumping badly. Soon later..tears rolled down. I didnt even have the guts to open the message. I kept crying and crying....till a point, I decided to open the message. "Face up the reality, winnie. At most, just sup papers. Come on, receive the judgement." I told myself.
*********************
After I saw the results, continued crying..my tears couldnt stop flowing. I called my mum," Mummy, I passed!! I passed!!" I'm realli elated..I couldnt realli believe it..I kept reopening the message to reaffirm..I realli passed..
*****************
I called him to share my feelings..I thought that special someone will be able to share my feelings. I was wrong. I'm really disappointed.
***
Blogged @ 12:25 AM
Don't let me go -